Monday, July 30, 2007

Ingmar Bergman's Big Hard Cock

Ingmar Bergman has died.

Remember all of that nonsense in Fight Club about splicing pensies into films? You know - the bit where most geeks heard the term 'cigarette burn' for the first time and then pretended they'd known the term all along? The film promises us an erect penis, spliced in, as some act of subversion. When the 'flash cut' comes, not only is it obvious and painfully laboured, it's also a limp penis. How appropriate.

But this wouldn't have done for Bergman. Ingmar Bergman spliced an actual erect penis into his film Persona (in the opening, with the bloody lamb, the nail being driven into the hand, the spider...)

That says it all, really: Bergman offers the penis up, unannounced, but part of an incredible sequence; Fincher promises it, then never delivers.

Persona also features one of the best perversions of film time through sound and image I've ever seen/heard and , later, what is surely the most suspenseful series of close ups ever committed to celluloid in the scene with the broken glass.

Go to your copy of Persona now - and if you don't have one, buy one - then freeze frame it on the erection and screen cap it, or take a picture with a camera, and upload it to the web. A 21+ cock salute for one of the masters of cinema. Link your images in the comments here, if you wish.

Goodbye, Ingmar.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

oh... the cock is there - but it's really, really quick.

-T.

Brendon said...

I know it's there. I said so:

"When the 'flash cut' comes, not only is it obvious and painfully laboured, it's also a limp penis. How appropriate."

It's the flaccidity I find so apt.

Anonymous said...

Doesn't he say "nice big cock?"

I know, I know, it's a silly argument.

droidguy1119 said...

Yeah...I don't know what bashing David Fincher has to do with Ingmar Bergman dying.

Brendon said...

Maybe I'm pointing out that a master of cinema has died while... Fincher is... er...

You know. I won't say it.

Jim said...

I think what most of us don't understand is

A) Why you can't simply celebrate Bergman's life and work without injecting some of your trademark bitter negativity

and

B) Why, with the wide array of absolute hacks at your disposal, you choose to vilify David Fincher.

Brendon said...

There's nothing bitter about this negativity. It's just negative.

There's plenty of positivity around this place.

Anyway, hacks are hacks. Fincher is more indulgent, taken more seriously and strays further from bland mediocrity (for the worse) than most hacks ever do.

The point is, at it's heart, an indication that great filmmakers like Bergman are being compared to buffoons like Fincher all the time. And, really, it's quite embarrassing when they are.

Anonymous said...

I think there's a lot to be said about the fact that instead of just celebrating Bergman's films, you choose to not only slag off Fincher, but to then wish death on him. Wow. And you wonder why Film Ick isn't more popular?

Brendon said...

I didn't wish death on Fincher. Not at all.

What makes you think I did?

I don't wish death on anyone.

Obviously.

Anonymous said...

"Maybe I'm pointing out that a master of cinema has died while... Fincher is... er...

You know. I won't say it."

Any idiot can see what you were trying to say.

Look, i like Film Ick, mainly because it's very different to a lot of film sites, but the constant barrage of negativity is just annoying now. You don't like Fincher, you don't like Scorsese, you do like Vanilla Sky, fine. That alone seperates this site from the others, but could you actually explain why you do/don't like a particular film, as otherwise it just comes off as snark, which i don't think it's intended to be. Anyway, there's my rant.

Brendon said...

Actually, I was trying to be nice and curtailed myself from swearing. But, yes, any idiot can see what it looks like. Including me. I didn't mean it to read that way. Sounds improbable, but it's true.

It's not easy to go into depth on any particular film on a site like this, focussed on news and so on. But I will touch on things again and again over time.

Slowly, I hope, my perspective becomes clear. And the reasoning behind it.

I was working on Under the Hood for a long time to try and make my stance crystal clear but...

Well, more news on that soon.

Generally speaking, I do like more films than I don't. This will become clear, I hope, too.

And you're right. I don't want to seem snarky. But I do sometimes get angry and act on that.

Anonymous said...

"Maybe I'm pointing out that a master of cinema has died while... Fincher is... er...

You know. I won't say it."

Any idiot can see what you were trying to say.


I took it as: Fincher is ... not a master of cinema. But maybe I'm an idiot.

Anonymous said...

This Fincher put-down does seem somewhat arbitrary. I don’t think using a subliminal erect penis is what made Bergman a great director. Like-wise, it’s hardly the greatest flaw in Fightclub either.

Brendon said...

The comparison does draw attention to some of their differences.